July 4th 2008

Is it a Crime to Be Poor?

I read a disturbing story today about a Midlothian (Chicago suburb) man who has been accused of locking his two very young children in a cage, in the back of his truck, while he worked collecting scrap metal. The truck was also supposedly outfitted with tinted windows and cunningly placed plywood which would prevent passers-by from seeing the caged children.

“Shocking allegations” (as the reporters in the accompanying news clip put it) indeed. Journalists and police and probably most of the people reading/watching reports of this incident are “disgusted” and thinking: What kind of parent puts their child in a cage?

At the risk of being called a bleeding heart liberal, I’d like to offer a possible answer to the above question:

“A poor one?”

(To those who are rolling their eyes right now, let me point out that I don’t think that putting children in cages and leaving them unattended (in a vehicle, at that!) is ever acceptable. If you read this blog post thinking otherwise, that is your problem, not mine. I don’t like inept parenting, particularly when children are endangered by it.)

But I’d like to ask another question. What alternatives did these parents have?

  • Both parents were employed. The father was salvaging scrap metal and the mother was working as a dental assistant. Neither job is high paid, and this family was probably barely scraping by on both parents’ wages and likely could not afford child care.
  • The family had got into trouble with the Department of Children and Family services before for leaving one of the girls “home alone”. The family was offered “supportive services”, though this apparently did not include continuing child care.
  • The children were not simply left alone in the truck, but were caged and strapped in so they would not “run away”. While this action clearly offends the sensibilities of the local constabulary and the media, it is probably preferable to leaving the girls “loose” so that they could escape the truck and go out exploring.
  • The television news report makes much of the fact that the truck had tinted windows and a plywood barrier that prevented outsiders from seeing the children. But if children are going to be left alone, wouldn’t it make sense to conceal them so that potential kidnappers and molesters cannot see them?
  • There is no mention in this story of any evidence of physical or sexual abuse. Evidence of such may be forthcoming, but the problem so far seems to be that the kids were left alone because their parents (who already had reason to be fearful of the child welfare authorities) couldn’t afford child care.
  • It should be noted that, as poor as this family is, both parents are working. If they weren’t working (and thus looking after the children at home) the same people condemning the father for securing the girls in his truck while he worked would be condemning the parents for being “lazy”.

So now these children are in foster care and away from their parents. I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that they are probably more traumatized by being in foster care than they were in a cage, in the back of their father’s truck. While they shouldn’t have been there in the first place, I am wondering what putting the kids in foster care is supposed to solve. Clearly these parents need some, ahem, help in caring for their children appropriately, but given their circumstances, it sounds like they may have been doing the best that they could.

They are poor. They are caring for their children the way the poor have always had to care for their children, which involves few resources and even fewer choices. The police and caseworkers and media are quick to condemn and arrest and confiscate, but one wonders what they were willing to do to help a family, who, despite both parents holding jobs, could not afford a baby sitter.

Is it a crime to be poor?

Is it?

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July 3rd 2008

A Complicated Request

Help on keyboard

Greetings,

A fellow member of The New Sheridan Club volunteers for the Army Benevolent Fund (a UK charity). This charity helps to provide for soldiers in need.

The charity has the opportunity to receive a significant grant from a website called MoneySavingExpert.com, provided that it receives the most votes on the website’s message board. If readers could take a couple of minutes to register on the message board (no spam from them!) and to “vote” for the charity, I, and my fellow club member, would be most grateful. You do NOT need to be a resident of the UK to vote.

This message below, from the club member, explains what you need to do:

“As some of you know, I work for a charity - The Army Benevolent Fund - which helps soldiers in need. We are trying to win a £22,000 grant from a website called MoneySavingExpert.com, and we need as many votes as possible.

If you can spare 2 mins, would you vote for us by:

Step one:
Registering with the site here
(you will not get any junk mail, I promise)

Step two:
Clicking this link and logging in. It may be hard to see where, but you need the line below the big yellow bar (above the red button that says start here and green bar)

Step three:
Press control and letter f simultaneously and type in ABF in the pop up box and click find.
Holly D’s nomination post for ABF should then appear. You then just need to click the thanks button with the yellow thumb to register your vote. (NOTE from Lainie, this only seems to work for PC users. Mac users may just need to scroll or use the “find” feature in their browser.)

Step Three:
Please forward this to your friends so they too can support our soldiers, former soldiers and their dependents !

Its all a bit fiddly, I know, but it could help raise £22,000 for our brave troops. Your help would be so much appreciated and I’ll let you know if we win.”

Please feel free to post this in your own blogs, etc. Thanks so much for your help!

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July 1st 2008

Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff Begins New Blog on Quiverfull

goslingsFor those interested in gender issues in the church, Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff is someone you should know about. She offers a unique perspective on the “quiverfull” movement within some branches of Christianity. (The tenents of quiverfull dictate that children are a blessing of God and that married couples ought not attempt to regulate pregnancies, but instead be open to having any and all children that result from normal married sexual activity. While the movement is not homogenous (there are differing perspectives on when, if ever, prevention of pregnancy is appropriate, whether sterilization reversal is acceptable, etc), it does go further than the Roman Catholic position, which permits a married couple to limit and space pregnancies via periodic sexual abstinence.)

Seelhoff is a former adherent of the quiverfull / Christian patriarchy movement and was both a speaker at homeschooling conferences as well as the publisher of Gentle Spirit, a magazine originally devoted to the tenants of quiverfull and Christian patriarchy. She has published some very interesting commentary on Quiverfull and has recently announced a new blog that will focus on quiverfull. I look forward to seeing the development of this new blog, and wish her much success.

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June 30th 2008

Diverting Verbal Abuse and Other Disagreeable Encounters

Combative Man

For various reasons I have been researching the problem of verbal abuse, as well as ways to deflect it. I came upon this gem, which suggests the “Boring Baroque Response” to being verbally baited. I highly recommend it to all my readers!


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June 25th 2008

Thoughts on Self-Deception #3: What do We REALLY Need?

Need

Insight #3

“Self-development programs often concentrate on helping people to distinguish between their “needs” and “wants”. Wants are minimized as something that we have control over and that can be changed via discipline, insight, character improvement, etc. Needs, however, are seldom questioned. When people want to make changes in their lives, they are asked to distinguish between wants and needs such that people focus on their wants and end up paying far less attention to their needs.

But needs (with very few exceptions such as food and oxygen) are also self-constructions. They just don’t seem like it because they appear to us to be crucial to the very foundations of our being. And in some cases, they probably are, but this doesn’t mean that we are going to wither away and die if we challenge them. It does mean, however, that we are going to have to change, oftentimes dramatically, and in ways that are distinctly uncomfortable for us.”

This was a particularly hard area of self-deception for me to work on. In fact, it was a particularly hard area of self-deception for me to even identify. By the time we reach adulthood, we have built an identity that is based on assumptions about what we “need”. This identity (and the assumptions) are the result of life experiences (both positive and damaging, examined and unexamined). The trouble is, while these things may well be “needed” by us, they aren’t necessarily good for us. In order to get healthy (spiritually, physically, mentally, etc) we are going to need to change, and part of that change is going to have to be questioning and (in some cases) dismissing our “needs”.

This is hard to do because we have deceived ourselves into not questioning our “needs” because they are so ingrained in our psyche. Consequently, we think that not feeding a “need” will result in our crumbling into a million little pieces. We also believe that we are entitled to have our “needs” met, even if meeting these “needs” has consistently resulted in negative consequences for ourselves and others. Finally, even if we decide that we are not going to feed a need, or to (gasp) admit that it isn’t a need after all,  we are going to be in for some rough times.

Some very rough times indeed.

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June 23rd 2008

I’ve Been Quoted

I’ve been quoted in an article about the Cornerstone Festival. For many years I have maintained the slightly carping Cstonesurvival.com, and apparently am now considered enough of an expert to be cited by a writer for Christianity Today.

I guess I’ve hit the big time.

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June 19th 2008

New Blog, New Article

Blog GraphicThe first of my new blogs, Dualtriadian.com is now up and running. The focus of Dualtriadian.com is on adoption issues. Please do stop by and have a look.

Also, I have posted an article on Hubpages about eating out whilst on a diet.

More soon.

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June 15th 2008

New Blog Format/Direction

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June 14th 2008

Resource For Bloggers

Blog Graphic

Heads up, fellow bloggers! TopRankBlog.com, features a list of RSS directories that you can submit your feed  to. Thanks to Shalini for tipping me off to this great resource!

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June 10th 2008

“Light, Ephemeral and Almost Fruity”

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